Remembering my Ancestors by Sharing Their Stories

When I first accepted Gwynn ap Nudd as my patron deity and took his mark, he had one condition for me: "You must work with the dead."

Illustration by Yuri Leitch

This made sense to me, as he is the Welsh god of the Underworld and leader of the Wild Hunt at Samhain.  He has also made it clear to me that he is titled Lord of the Dead, though I don't believe that title is found in what little written mythology there is.  He didn't provide me with any explanation or further details on what working with the dead meant for me, though.

That was a number of years ago.  He had largely remained silent on the matter - I assumed I wasn't ready to take on the responsibilities of the task, particularly in the time after I was forced from my coven and needed a significant amount of fallow time with my spirituality.

This autumn, I felt a growing pull to start collecting the stories and photos of my family, namely those who had passed.  As I approached Samhain I came to understand that this is the beginning of my obligation to Gwynn - my work with the dead starts with my family, telling their stories to keep their memory alive.

Because what is remembered, lives.

I started with a request in a private Facebook group for my father's side of the family, and have begun saving digital copies of the stories and photos I've collected so far.  While I was at my parents' for Thanksgiving, I also scanned a number of documents they had, including a family tree that goes back to my 3-times great-grandparents!

This is probably going to be a multi-year project, and I'm kind of excited about that.  I'm looking forward to seeing what other interesting stories and revelations about my family I discover along the way.  Maybe I'll even take a trip to research my family's lineage!  (Or maybe I've been watching too much Who Do You Think You Are? and am overconfident in my ability to afford such a trip!)

I'm not sure what I'll do with the findings - perhaps an ebook to give to my family, or maybe even a fancy website?  So many possibilities!

Have you done any research into your family's lineage or stories?  What revelatory discoveries did you make?

Plugging in to Deity

I've been thinking a lot this week about how we as humans connect to the gods.  It started at dinner with Jack the other night, when he got me talking about agnostic paganism and how it isn't necessary to believe a deity is a Divine Being in order to work with them.

I know for many agnostic pagans, they can still connect with the gods on a psychological level, as a construct within the psyche.  The Four Queens has several fascinating videos* on her YouTube channel where she talks about how as a pantheist she connects to her gods, who she sees not as discrete Divine Beings, but more as psychological archetypes.

"Moon Witch" by MotleyMitch on Deviant Art:
motleymitch.deviantart.com/art/Moon-Witch-153505544

I think that's a really powerful concept.  I feel like as a hard polytheist who does recognize my gods as discrete Divine Beings, as greater and wiser and "bigger" than me, I can still learn from that concept.  I feel like I can use it to better understand how I connect with them now and strengthen my connection in the future.

See, I've always recognized something of myself in my gods when I meet with them on the astral plane.  I always know when it's truly them, though, by a strong feeling of ...well, divinity (not sure how else to say it!  It's a feeling I don't really have a word for.)  How strongly I see myself in them is depends a lot on things like how open or "plugged in" I am at that moment and how strongly they have decided to (or are able to) come through.

I think that the "me" I recognize in them really is a part of me.  Like, a facet of my psyche or spirit that serves as an internal concept or archetype of that deity, and that piece of me connects with my god, and that combined/connected sort of being is who I perceive.  I suspect that internal archetype also allows the gods to come through better for possession, like something they can more easily fit in to and use to their Will.

I can't know if this way of experiencing deity is permanent, or maybe it's just in place until I am better prepared or able to experience them more fully without the more relatable filter of "me"-ness.

I'm curious how other people experience their gods.  Do you see them as Divine Beings?  Do you feel like you connect to them in a similar way?



*That's 3 separate links - I highly recommend watching all 3 videos when you have time!

Heeding the Call

Last night I felt a strong call from my patron, Gwynn ap Nudd, to journey to him and have a chat.  He likes to do that sometimes, especially when I need talking to.

Source: http://legends.alisonwrenn.co.uk/2013/03/iv-gwyn-ap-nudd.html

Before I journeyed, I prayed about what's been troubling me, to help center me and guide my journey.  In essence, I have been floundering in my practice for the last couple of years. Now that I am engaged and building a home and a life with my sweetheart, I feel like it's time to get back on the (magickal) horse.  I've been going to shamanic journey classes led by a good friend of mine, and while that's a good start it's not enough.


When I was in a coven, I practiced regularly, but mostly only with the group.  And unfortunately, I gave so much that the group - unwittingly, I'm sure - sucked me dry and left me unable to practice much at home. 

Now that I'm solitary again, I have much more energy for journeying, magick, etc.  Except that without that structure of regular coven rituals and meetings and such, I find myself getting lax about practicing.

So I asked Gwynn for guidance.  He told me that my home, my every day life needs to be more magickal - basically I need that everyday foundation to get me into the right head space for regular practice.  For starters, he reminded me that I need stronger, more stable wards.  Then he showed me the cover of a book I've had for years but never read - The Magical Household: Spells & Rituals for the Home by Scott Cunningham & David Harrington. 

So I guess I have some reading to do!  And some magicking to do around our home, too.  ("Magicking" is a word, right?  Well if it's not, I'm making it a word right now.)

As I write this, I'm also reminded that for a while there, I was saying a daily prayer of gratitude.  I should really get back to doing that, starting right now: 

Thank you for my existence.  

Thank you for what health I retain.  

Thank you for clarity of mind.  

Thank you for my love.